My Sister's Hair Combing Ceremony in Wedding



Chinese wedding is a complicated process full with customs and ceremonies. Essentially, it is made up three letters and six ceremonies (三書六禮).

The three letters (三書)are :
1. Engagement Letter (聘書)
2. Betrothal or Dowry Letter (禮書)
3. Bride Fetching Letter (迎親書)

The six ceremonies (六禮)are :
1. Proposal/Match Making (納采)
2. Names and Birth Dates Matching (問名)
3. Engagement (納吉)
4. Betrothal/Dowry (納徵)
5. Selection of Auspicious Date and Astrological Intervention (請期)
6. Fetching of Bride and Wedding Ceremony (親迎)

Astrological intervention is important. Ideally, the wedding ceremony should be conducted before the wedding banquet. Based on the birth dates and the names of my sister and her boy friend, the auspicious date to conduct the wedding ceremony is Sunday. However, they were not able to book a place to hold the banquet on Sunday. So, they have to host the wedding banquet on Saturday evening before their wedding ceremony on Sunday.

SingaporeBrides.com : Chinese Wedding Traditions

Wikipedia : Chinese Pre-Wedding Customs

On the eve of Fetching of Bride and Wedding Ceremony proper, both the bride and the groom have to go through a hair-combing ceremony in their respective family. This ceremony is only conducted if the marriage is the first marriage for both the bride and the bridegroom. Also, in case this ceremony is not conducted on the bridegroom side, the bride should not undergo such ceremony as well.

Essentially, this ceremony is conducted as a sign of adulthood as well as well wishes from the family members.
The bridegroom side should conduct the ceremony half an hour ahead of the ceremony on the bride side. In my sister's case, the ceremony was conducted at 12 midnight on my brother in law (to be) side, while my sister's ceremony was conducted at 12:30 am.

Both bride and bridegroom should wear white shirt and white pant for this ceremony. A couple, the man is called "Good Fortune Man (好命佬)" and the woman is called "Good Fortune Woman (好命婆)" will comb the hair of the bride or bridegroom. Usually, the couple is the parents of the bride or bridegroom. As my father is no long around, my mother was not able to conduct the ceremony for my sister. Instead, my auntie (my mother's sister) and my uncle performed the ceremony.

The ceremony is conducted in front of a table facing the door or windows. There should be a pair of dragon phoenix candles, 3 joss sticks, a bowl of red and white glutinous rice balls, fruits, vegetable, a mirror, etc. The ceremony should be conducted in such a way that the bride should face out of the house, while the bridegroom should face in.

During the ceremony, the "Good Fortune Man" and the "Good Fortune Woman" couple will comb the hair of the bride or bridegroom 3 times while chanting the blessing :

一梳梳到尾 (First comb to comb till the end)
二梳白髮齊眉 (Second comb to comb till white hair together)
三梳兒孫滿地 (Third comb to comb till plenty of children and grandchildren on earth)

After the hair combing ceremony, the bride or bride groom will have to swallow (not allowed to chew) all the glutinous rice balls in the bowl. Both are not allowed to sleep until the flame of both the dragon and phoenix candles extinguish.






My mother had intentionally made the glutinous rice balls small so that my sister could swallow them easily.

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